Shettima Goofs: No Forces Want To Pull Down Nigeria!

 By Olu Fasan

Ahead of last year’s general elections, I wrote a piece titled “2023: Shettima Unfit To Be Nigeria’s Vice-President” (Vanguard, September 22, 2022). I argued that despite his education and seeming bibliophilism, Kashim Shettima suffers from negative parrhesia, expressing indecorous views freely without aforethought.

*Shettima

I wrote: “With Shettima’s inherent tetchiness and truculence, he would be gratuitously provocative. And with his uncouthness and indiscretion, he would be utterly divisive and toxifying.” Well, since he became vice-president, Shettima has done enough, with several infuriating comments, to validate my opinion of him. 

Tinubu Must Find Dollars NOT Scapegoats!

 By Ugoji Egbujo

If they leave the major bleeding points oozing to fan the man because he is sweating, then they are like our government that has left crude oil thieves to chase BDC operators.

The country is in shock. Shock is what happens when circulation fails and systems start to shut down. Our country lies prostrate, bleating, like a man run over by a hit-and-run truck. Our foreign reserves are empty. The poor can’t buy food. The government is running helter-skelter to pander to the angry masses and save itself. Truth has been sacrificed. But that won’t do. So, scapegoats must be found. Perhaps, as the Igbo say, a desperate man is entitled to act a little crazy.  

Tinubu, Beware The Troubles Of March To May!

 By Dele Sobowale

“Caesar, beware, the ides of March” – William Shakespeare, 1546-1616

As Shakespeare rendered it, in his famous book, Julius Caesar, the Roman Emperor (Jagaban if you wish) was at the peak of his powers; without realising that a plot against him was in progress. A seer approached Caesar to warn the most powerful man on Earth then about impending danger. He was dismissed with a wave of the hand.

*Tinubu 

Then it happened and world history was changed forever. Don’t get me wrong. I am not predicting another assassination. But, all the signs of a major upheaval are already present in the Nigerian polity – as to make the next three months the most dangerous in our history since January 1966.

Silence In The East

 By Obi Nwakanma

A terrible time has fallen on Nigeria. There is no hiding it. Hunger is not just rampant; it is now an epidemic. There is a food crisis, and it is inevitably leading towards massive national food riots. However, a few weeks ago, a minister in the current government said that there was no scarcity of food in Nigeria. 

Well, I’m not quite certain about this minister, since most of Tinubu’s cabinet is made up of second rate, mediocre, provincial types – but elementary economics theory of scarcity connects with a price theory which is determined by the dynamics of supply and demand. Equilibrium occurs when the rise in supply meets the rise in demand. But disequilibrium happens too. This, when the demand for the resource outstrips the supply, and it leads both to exclusion, and to scarcity.

Bola Tinubu Should Resign!

 By Casmir Igbokwe

Three videos which trended on the social media last week brought home the current reality of life in Nigeria. The first one happens to be a group of young women struggling to scoop rice from the pot of a rice vendor in Maiduguri, the Borno State capital. The big pot of rice was still on fire, steaming hot. But the women were not bothered with fire or any other thing. All they wanted was to quench the fire of hunger ravaging their stomachs.

*Tinubu

In the second video, a group of people, mainly youths, were struggling to collect loaves of bread said to be N100 each. It was on February 14, 2024, being Valentine’s Day. As the youths were pushing and shoving one another, the organisers, who had a tough time controlling them, resorted to whipping them to be orderly. This particular incident reportedly happened on Lagos Island.

Nigeria: The Road To Hunger Land

 By Adekunle Adekoya

There is a point you get to talking about the problems facing our dear nation that you just get tired. This is because the problems seem endless — from insecurity to unending rise in the prices of goods and services, especially food items, to the parlous state of our infrastructure, especially roads and electricity. In the midst of unreliable power supply, government is bidding to remove subsidy on electricity, which, from where I stand, amounts to making the people pay more for a service that they get just a whiff of.

Right now, methinks the greatest problem that we have to deal with is the growing issue of food insecurity; more able-bodied men are finding it herculean to put food on the table as the prices of staples — rice, garri, yams, beans, potatoes, others are becoming more unaffordable every day. That is in addition to sky-high prices of bread, fish, meat, pepper, tomato, onions and other groceries. But, with regards to food, it was clear, albeit a long time ago, that we will get to this point someday. Just that those in charge of our affairs continued to deceive us and themselves that all is well.

Insecurity: Nigeria Needs Regional Police, Not State Police

 By Olu Fasan

Recently, faced with escalating violence across Nigeria, the president, Bola Tinubu, reportedly agreed with state governors to establish state police. The news excited those calling for state police in Nigeria. But the agitation for state police is misguided; it is based on shallow reasoning, not on a rational, hard-nosed analysis of the potential consequences. 

To be sure, Nigeria cannot continue to have a unitary police force that purports to “police” the entire country with orders from Abuja. Equally, however, Nigeria cannot have a mushrooming of ramshackle state “police forces”. What Nigeria needs is formidable regional police with extensive reach across a region. Truth is, in the Nigerian context, the advantages of regional police far outweigh those of state police.

Tinubu And The Troubled House Of Lugard

 By Sola Ebiseni

Football tournaments should be held every day, continuously, ad infinitum; it is one surest opium by which the poor and needy are sweetly distracted from their life’s agony and anguish. Ensure that the Eagles, whether Golden Eaglets, Flying, Falcons or Super are involved, showing predatory capacities and see the Nigerian hoi polloi willingly sedated by a large dose of the round-leather tranquilliser.

So it was with this season’s AFCON which momentarily shifted attention from the common effects of the sloppy Naira and galloping fuel to the boys in Cote d’Ivoire. While the fiesta and its razzmatazz lasted, no one cared about the tribes of our young ambassadors on the field.

Nigeria: Renewed Wailing!

 By Ochereome Nnanna

Femi Adesina, Muhammadu Buhari’s star-struck admirer who later got employed by the Daura politician when he achieved his presidential ambition in 2015, left us with a number of acidic soundbites as a presidential spokesman. Two of them stood out.

*Bola Tinubu

The first was not exactly a soundbite, but was summarised for him into that by his colleagues in the media. Reacting to the Fulani herdsmen terrorism which his boss, Buhari, allowed (some say he facilitated it and protected the culprits with his presidential powers), Adesina shocked Nigerians with his coldblooded dismissiveness of the massacres, displacement and occupation of farming communities by the invaders.

Nigeria Is On The Road To Haiti, Not Venezuela

 By Owei Lakemfa

The Nigerian masses are troubled. They are hungry, angry and losing faith in civil rule. The times call for leaders at all levels to be at work, seeking solutions. Unfortunately, many government officials are spending scarce resources and precious time carrying out propaganda.

The political traders blaming the demonstrably inept and kleptocratic Buhari regime, for our current woes, are engaged in a needless diversion. It is like beating a dead horse; what would the country gain from such waste of time and energy?

President Tinubu, Scarcity Is Evident; Chaos Follows

 By Dele Sobowale

“Love and business and family and religion and art and patriotism are nothing but shadows of words when a man is starving” – O’Henry, 1862-1910.

*Tinubu 
About two weeks ago, your Vice President called Nigerians, who registered their displeasure about the continuing devaluation of the Naira, “clowns” for not supporting the government now when things are tough. Shettima has forgotten that he begged for the job. If he can’t stand the heat, he should resign. But, he cannot be insulting his employers. He was joined by one Felix Morka, the National Publicity Secretary of the All Progressives Congress (APC), who apparently has no relatives, friend or town’s men feeling the pain of hunger. The two, like all the “Yes-men and women” of your administration, are leading your government down the path which destroyed Buhari and others before you.

Tinubunomics? It’s Economic Illiteracy Writ Large!

 By Olu Fasan

Bola Tinubu, Nigeria’s self-regarding president, says he deserves an entry in the Guinness Book of World Records for his economic reforms. Speaking at the 10th German-Nigerian Business Forum in November last year, Tinubu said: “To me, if you didn’t mention me in the Guinness Book of Records, I would find a way to insert myself because I did it (the economic reforms) without expectations.” But whether he said that in jest or in earnest, the truth is that he goofed spectacularly, displaying a hubristic detachment from reality.  

*Tinubu

Think about it. When, as president, your policies inflict untold suffering and misery on the citizens, it’s utterly arrogant and insensitive to beat your chest and demand global accolades for your “achievement”. It is also inconsiderate and out-of-touch to tell the citizens to endure excruciating pains now for some pie-in-the-sky gains in the future. Thomas Jefferson famously said that “the care of human life and happiness is the only legitimate object of good government”. But Tinubu’s economic “reforms” immiserate and dehumanise ordinary Nigerians!

Telling Chizoba Wigwe’s Story

 By Ijeoma Nwogwugwu

Herbert Wigwe everyone knew, but not many knew the backbone behind his immense success. I called you Chiz Baby. Queenette Allagoa called you Chiz Burger. Most called you Doreen. I remember when you came back from the United States of America 31 years ago. You were just 26 years old, armed with your university degrees and ready to start life afresh back home.

*Chizoba and her husband, Herbert 

We immediately bonded over our unique family dynamics and love of trading. I remember marvelling at your capacity to switch back and forth from an American accent to a Nigerian English accent with ease. I was immediately drawn to your infectious laughter which could be heard from a mile away and your tremendous industry. You were born into privilege, but you were never afraid of hard work.

What Tinubu Must Do To Avert Food Riots In Nigeria

 By Steve Onyeiwu

AS the saying goes, a hungry man is an angry man. He is also a restive and dangerous man. Nigerians are already very angry and weary about the country’s severe economic challenges; the lack of inclusivity in economic development; the high unemployment rate; extreme poverty; infrastructural decay, pervasive insecurity, and a bleak economic future. For many Nigerians, a persistent and steep increase in food prices would be the last straw that jolts them into violent food riots. 

Prof Onyeiwu 

President Bola Tinubu understands the severity of the problem when he declared a state of emergency on food security in July 2023, and the formation of a Presidential Task Force on food insecurity early this month. It would be recalled that Acting President Yemi Osinbajo also set up a similar task force in February 2017. But long-term solutions require much more than the mere setting up of a task force. Nigerians are sick and tired of task forces, special committees, advisory councils, high-level summits, council of experts, technical committees, extraordinary body of thinkers, leaders of thought, etc. They want action and impactful results, not admonitions, regurgitated solutions, and empty promises.

A Walk Amongst Writers And Odia, A Living Legend

 By Owei Lakemfa

I drove to Mamman Vatsa Writers Village, Mpape, Abuja. It is a huge sprawling estate of multiple storey buildings, many under construction. It is easy to get lost in this maze that is the home of the Association of Nigerian Authors, ANA. Somebody from the hilly top pointed at a building in what may well be a valley.

*Ofeimum

Outside the huge theatre, I found nobody. I was confident there were people inside. But it was like a void. Finally, I found somebody who confirmed a reading by Odia Ofeimum was scheduled for the theatre. But that was still some three hours away. I knew that, but I was also aware a pre-reading session was going on. The task was to locate it.

Bola Tinubu Should Come Clean!

 By Nick Dazang

Unless drastic, coherent and proactive measures are taken, the chickens may soon be coming home to roost for the fledgling Bola Ahmed Tinubu administration. I state this with the highest sense of responsibility and advised by recent tragic events and ominous auguries.

*Tinubu

For the first time, and on his watch, we have thus far had a rash of peaceful demonstrations against hardship. Nigerians, in their numbers, protested in Kano, Minna and Suleija. It is noteworthy that even before he departed Lagos for Abuja, after the Christmas and New Year breaks, Lagosians shouted at his convoy that Nigerians were having a hard time.

Soyinka In Search Of Nigeria's Next Nobel Honoree

 By Banji Ojewale

Contrary to former President Olusegun Obasanjo’s 2015 seriocomic commentary on Nobel Laureate Wole Soyinka (Kongi) as a man habitually hunting for guinea fowl and fine wine, the writer has lately revealed that his life isn’t all about wining and dining.

*Soyinka 

Obasanjo (Obj) had said during a spat between them that he could always turn to Kongi if he wanted wine and guinea fowl. He said: ‘’He (Soyinka) is surely a better wine connoisseur and a more successful aparo (guinea fowl) hunter than a political critic…If I want somebody to give me the best wine, one of the people I will go to is Wole Soyinka and I know he has a taste for good wine…’’

Hunters As Missing Link In Nigeria’s Security Architecture

 By Bonaventure Melah

Until Nigeria takes necessary and bold steps to commission a special security agency that is dedicated and committed to fighting crimes and criminalities that are planned and executed within and around forests, all efforts by the government towards ending heinous crimes like banditry, cattle rustling, kidnapping and others, would continue to be a mirage.

Today, Nigeria has the Police which fights and prevents crimes within cities and rural communities, the Nigeria Army which was created to protect the nation from external aggression and insurrection, the Navy to fight crimes within the nation’s territorial waters as well the Air Force to defend our air space while the NSCDC oversee national assets and work to stop pipeline, public electricity and other forms of vandalism and related crimes.

Nigeria’s Malgovernance, Misgovernance, Bad Governance

 By Oseloka H. Obaze

A recent trending photo of the leaders of the BRICS nations hobnobbing and holding hands across-the-chest spoke eloquently to the group’s vital missing link and presumptive member. That photo brought to mind missed opportunities and lessons learned. It also brought to the fore, the fate of Nigeria: a country that is prima facie qualified to be the sixth member of that intergovernmental organization, but is not.

*Tinubu
Nigeria’s membership would have expanded the name of the group to BRINCS, expanded her sphere of global influence, market, acceptability and balance. Her exclusion from the BRICS expansion coincides with the imminent implosion of ECOWAS under her chairmanship.

Nigeria’s Convocation Of Clowns

 By Kenechukwu Obiezu

Nigeria is currently entertaining a conversation over whether it is a country of clowns. The conversation was ignited by Kashim Shettima, Nigeria’s Vice President. At an event in Abuja, Shettima described Nigerians celebrating the free fall of the Naira against the dollar as clowns. Particularly, Shettima chided them for their celebrations on microblogging site X.

*Shettima and Tinubu and their wives 

Clowns imply a circus, and the use of the word by Shettima evokes memories of a 2018 interview of then President Muhammadu Buhari when he described Nigerian youths as lazy.