Nnaemeka Oruh
Statistics detailing the extent
of perpetration of child sexual abuse is hugely alarming. Projections show that
the number will increase if something is not urgently done. Therefore, the
urgency of the situation demands that I do not waste time on preambles. So I
will just get on with it.
(pix: redwoodsgroup)
Cases of child sexual abuse are
not receiving adequate attention. In fact, while the cases skyrocket, less and
less people clearly and completely understand what it means to sexually abuse a
child. So this work is an urgent attempt to educate(and perhaps re-educate some
others).Urgent because it is very important that we start this discussion now
in order to teach as many people as possible while our children can still be
saved.
Child sexual abuse simply refers
to the engagement in sexual acts with a person under eighteen. Note that the
word "consent" is absent in my definition. The absence was not
fortuitous. This is because, a person under eighteen cannot really give
consent. So even if the person accepted your sexual overtures, it is still
deemed sexual abuse as persons under eighteen cannot legally give consent (in some states in the US
There is also the tendency for
people to believe that sexual abuse especially as it concerns children has to
do with only penetration. This is not true. Child sexual abuse is not only
conformed to actual penetration (either with the sexual organ, finger or
otherwise). Sexually abusing a child also involves the following:
(pix:parentsprotect)
i) Exposing the child to the view
of the sexual organs of others. This may be in the form of allowing them see
pornographic materials; see the nakedness of others such as their parents,
relatives, etc.
ii) Engaging in sexual activities
in the full view of the child. Note that sometimes when for economic reasons
the parents or guardians of children are forced to engage in sexual activities
in the same room where the children are, most times, the children are aware of
these actions and consequently view them and are affected. Such action is thus
a clear case of sexually abusing the child.
iii) Inappropriately touching the
child's private parts.
iv) Allowing the child to watch
movies or programmes rated 18. Programmes rated 18 mostly contain sexual scenes
and these scenes would impact the child and make him or her vulnerable.
The above listed underline
something very important, namely, that child sex abuse could also come in the form
of psychological abuses. It is thus very important that we re-educate ourselves
and others so that we can guide against all forms of child sex abuse.
Earlier, I clarified that a
person under eighteen cannot legally give consent (apart from some places where
the legal age of consent is 16). Thus, it is now important that I explain that
if for any reason, as an adult you have engaged in any form of sexual activity
with somebody under eighteen(or 16), then you have sexually abused him/her.
(pix:toonaripost)
Having pointed out the various
forms of child sex abuse, it is now important that we evaluate some of the core
ways in which one can know a sexually abused child. The points raised below are
definitively not exhaustive but they frame the various ways in which one would
know a sexually abused child:
i) Pain in the private parts
ii) Discharges (especially foul-smelling
ones)
iii) Bruises in the private
parts. This can be true for both the girl-child and the boy-child.
iv) Psychological disturbances
that could lead to abnormal behaviours such as bed wetting and defecating on
himself or herself especially when this was not the case before.
v) Strange behaviour by the child
(such as trying to seduce somebody or showing signs of sexual knowledge;
becoming withdrawn; performing badly in school; acting anxious; acting
abnormally before a particular person.)
The above stated are some of the
ways in which one may know an abused child. Once we notice any of the above, it
is right to find out the truth and in the case that there has been a physical
abuse, it is strongly advised that the child is immediately taken to a hospital
for attention.
The importance of taking the
child to the hospital immediately must be stressed so that tests can be run to
determine if any sexually transmitted disease has been passed on to the child
so that treatment can commence immediately. This is why it is very important
that cases are reported within 72hours of their occurrence.
Statistically, the rate of child
sex abuse in this part of the world is alarming. I believe that having gone
through the various forms of abuses we discussed above, it is quite obvious
that a large number of Nigerian children have been subjected to some form of
sexual abuse or the other. The unfortunate thing is that child sexual abuse is
perpetrated mostly by people who are around the children; fathers, mothers,
uncles, aunties, cousins, maids, drivers, security men, neighbours, grand
parents, teachers, etc.
I know that listing certain class
of people above would raise eyebrows (like parents and grandparents), but this
is the ugly truth as so many stories have confirmed. The child is mostly
comfortable with people who are close to him or her and thus such people are
the best positioned to take advantage of the child. It is thus strongly advised
that in raising the child, extreme care is taken to ensure that exposure to
people who may wish to sexually abuse him or her is reduced to the minimum.
Also, the child should be taught to understand that his or her private parts
are private and thus nobody (not even his or her parents) has the right to
touch them inappropriately.
Children have right to be happy: Don't hurt them
(pix:pixgood)
The Child Rights Act demands that
we protect our children from any form of abuse. This legally empowers us to do
all we can even for the children of other people. Thus we should all form a
community police and ensure that our children are well protected from child sex
abuse. When we notice a case of abuse, it is pertinent that we immediately
swing into action by contacting any child right organization available and
making sure that appropriate action is taken.
Also, it is important that the
points shared here are conveyed to as many people as possible in order to
engender a much needed public re-education. A lot of people in our society do
not adequately grasp what it means to abuse a child sexually hence the need for
this re-education.
The world as it is, is already
mired in so many problems. While we struggle to find solutions to these problems,
it is pertinent that attention is also reserved for our future. By correcting
and re-educating as many people as possible today, we can at least begin to
create a better future. And the future as it is, is all about our children.
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