Nigeria, The Bottom Is Dropping!

 By Tony Iwuoma

Things are happening at dizzying speed. A mere pronouncement of two men and their naira swap policy have merged the rich and the poor into one mass of needy Nigerians.

*El-Rufai and Buhari 

It’s more amusing because the minority high and mighty who were hitherto alien to the suffering of the majority seem caught unawares in the same web in which they enmeshed the people. In their confusion, they have begun tearing down their own houses with their own hands.

No Cure For Yakubu Gowon Fever

By Tony Iwuoma

Former head of state, Yakubu Gowon, was gifted with opportunity for atonement when he recently appeared on AIT’s People, Politics and Power programme. Unfortunately, the man, who wanted to ‘go on with one Nigeria’ (Gowon), flunked the grace of history.

*Gowon

Perhaps, the greatest take-away was Gowon’s inadvertent exoneration of Chukwuemeka Odumegwu-Ojukwu. He had actually set out to vilify the venerable Biafra leader by heaping inordinate falsehood on the dead, who can no longer defend himself. Gowon claimed he went to Ghana for the famed Aburi Accord unprepared. That, according to him, accounted for why highly cerebral Ojukwu bamboozled all of them and wringed the concessions he got. He added that secession was not on the card in Ghana and, of course, it couldn’t have been. It was not on Ojukwu’s agenda either. However, secession crept into the matter when the pogrom against the Igbo in the North continued unabated and Gowon, admittedly, could not halt it. According to Gowon and rightly so, the Igbo saw Biafra as the only hope for safety and freedom.

How Private Are Your Private Parts?

By Tony Iwuoma

We live in a world of hyperbolic privacy. We learn to keep private things private as soon as we are born. From infancy, we were taught to cover our private parts. Even the little daughter you once bathed would soon start hiding from you because she does not want you to see her bum bum. We are taught to keep certain aspects of our life private and that is why our so-called celebrities cling so tenaciously to the dogma of not talking about their 'private lives' despite their atrocious public exhibitions.

(pix: Oxbridge)

Nudity has almost overtaken our culture and those parts that we once held sacred have since lost their innocence, no thanks to modernity. Those private parts of the womenfolk that the men strained hard to just have a peek at have come unstuck in the streets and on television; there seems to be no private parts anymore. Those who still insist on some modicum of decency are viciously tagged 'old fashioned'. Oh, how beautiful it is to belong to the vanishing tribe!

But seriously speaking, what are your private parts? Is it all about our genitals? Is it about briefs and boxers, or brassieres and lingerie? Is it about bum shorts, stony breast implants and false and padded buttocks? Is it about cavorting with your squeeze beyond the eyes of her parents? Is it about baby mamas and papas? Is it about Queen Esther and Stephanie Otobo’s determination to do in Apostle Johnson Suleman? Is it about philandering with spouses of other men or women beyond the trusting eyes of the cuckolded?

The Hypnosis Of Little Brother Naija

By Tony Iwuoma

It is with great relief that the television (un)reality show, Big Brother Naija, #BBN, has come to an end after 70 agonising days. It was 70 days of depravity gone overboard. It was a period the devil was given reins over our country, Africa, and possibly the world, when budding youths were quarantined in a house of sin and manipulated to dance to surreal and macabre music orchestrated by merchants of immorality, smiling to the banks.

It was a time when Nigeria was hypnotised to sacrifice decency to the gods of mammon. Even at that, the spell cast upon the nation was so strong we ended up enriching South Africa and gaining nothing but the few coins given to the winner of the show, Efe, and his two compatriots.

How do I mean? I will tell you. Nigeria surrendered the hosting of the show to South Africa despite her citizens, and, in fact, the nation itself being the focus. They sold Nigeria the dummy that power challenges would not allow the hosting of the show in Nigeria and, so, shipped our youth to that South African madhouse. All the technicians were South Africans and Nigerians lost opportunity to make a few bucks for themselves from a project they should have been first beneficiaries. It was a big rip-off! South Africans made heavy financial gains. Over 24 million people voted on the last day alone and if that is translated to cash, and input all the votes of the previous days preceding the final, you can see how dumb the minders of our economy are to have given South Africa that much room to manipulate them out of much revenue.

It is annoying that South African firms would play big in this country, earn billions and corrupt our youths, with our leaders moping and yet that country for which Nigeria sacrificed everything has nothing but disrespect and hatred for our citizens in their own country that are daily hacked down in hideous xenophobic circumstances.

Judgment Day Comes For Homosexuals

By Tony Iwuoma

I have never hidden my distaste for homosexuals and lesbians. That God prescribes death sentence for this scurrilous conduct highlights how revolting and abominable it is. If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their blood guiltiness is upon them. (Leviticus 20:13)

However, in this libertine age of misconstrued grace, society has been overly tolerant of the evil. Even in the 17th century, New England and some American colonies adopted this biblical recommendation of death for homosexuals until 1786, after the Revolution, when man rebelled against God, with Pennsylvania in the lead by dropping the death penalty. Of more recent is the June 26, 2003 US Supreme Court ruling in the Lawrence versus Texas suit that annulled the Texas same sex sodomy law on the grounds that sex was covered by the liberty rights of the US constitution. Ever since, morality has taken a steep decline, even in traditional African societies and the church.

In a recent post, a young undergraduate of the University of Port Harcourt met a homosexual on the social media. He was sent N20, 000 to come to Lagos for sexual tryst. After the romp, somewhere in Ifako area, he was paid N150, 000. To his utter shock and amazement, soon after, he started developing multiple organs – five full-blown penises (the picture too repulsing to publish here). By this time though, his homosexual partner had vanished into thin air, leaving the young man in quandary.

Much as one is not rejoicing over this avoidable tragedy, it is timely warning for similarly inclined men and women to make a detour from the ignoble path of perdition lest greater calamity befalls them. The same message goes to the fallen Miss Anambra, whose disgusting video of sex act, using cucumber of all things was trending in social media and all same sex inclined perverts.

God still loves them though, both homosexuals and lesbians. But He hates their despicable conduct and unless they repent, they will surely perish. They may hide from man but not from God.  It is obvious that God seems to have taken up the task of enforcing His own laws, which no man can annul.

Donald Trump is the man of the moment for whom the impossible has happened. The much-hyped presidential election in the United States climaxed last Tuesday, posting a most unexpected result. The candidate of the Republican Party, Donald Trump, a billionaire business mogul, trounced the candidate of the Democratic Party, Hilary Clinton, former first lady, former senator, former secretary of state, and former this and that.

Trump was trailed by many controversies all the way from the primaries, including tax evasion and philandering with different women, some of whom openly accused him of groping them. But he braced all of the odds stoically and weathered the storm alone, even when leading lights in his party abandoned him. Trump was a one-man riot squad, who could even be described as an independent candidate though he contested on the Republican Party’s platform.