By Lekan Alabi
On Thursday, May 19, 2016, it was 20 years when my article
(satire) of the above title was published in major Nigerian newspapers – for
ease of reference, the Sunday Times issue of May 19, 1996. I wrote the
satire in the heady days of Nigeria’s military dictator, the late General Sani
Abacha, whose regime tortured Nigerians most, and the motivation for the
article was the ravaging Mad Cow Disease Bovine Spongriform Encephalopathy
(BSE) of that time. In the article, I wrote, inter alia, “Oftentimes,
during the long treks in search of food, our cows act as ‘mediators’ between
their dagger-wielding owners and landowners / farmers when they get mad at each
other over grazing rights. Roles reversal you will say”.
Could
anyone ever imagine cows ‘mediating’ between their owners and landowners/farmers over
grazing rights in Nigeria?
But that was my statement even though on allegory, 20 years ago. Today, Nigeria is in
the precipice of cows mediating between their owners and landowners/farmers, if
great care and diplomacy, are not urgently taken.
The raging national
controversy over the speculated Federal Government’s proposed N940 million
grazing reserves for Fulani herdsmen especially in Southern Nigeria, and
attendant protests against the plan, coupled with the reported atrocities of
herdsmen across the land, spurred my reach for my said article. One of the aims
of the recall is to draw public / government attention again to what I said in
1996. It is not a joking matter, as they say.
I wish to lend my voice
to the ongoing reasoned calls/advice that negotiations, rather than government
fiat/sentiments, are the better options in the pros and cons for ranches,
grazing rights, path ways, etc to avoid an unnecessary chaos, bloodletting and
what have you. As a saying goes, sense and sensibilities are quite often
embedded in jokes/banters.
Following is my 1996 article (excerpts). Please ponder on
it.
“What lessons can human beings learn from animals?” I
asked. How naïve I was! Scientists have since proved that animal share basic
instincts with man. They also feel, communicate and react. Nigerian herdsmen
have authenticated this scientific theory on animal communication, as they
(herdsmen) talk to, and receive responses from their cows and goats.
“Recently, I overhead some Nigerian cows discussing the
raving malady afflicting their British counterparts, the Bovine Spongiform
Encephalopathy (BSE), otherwise called the mad cow disease. The submission of
our local breed was that British cows, having been part of the revolution on
the “Animal Farm”, had become over-pampered along with their fellow co-plotters
such as dogs, cats, horses, pigs, birds, etc.
“Our cows are of the opinion that since animals in foreign
lands are treated like gods, live in palaces, fly first class, ride in
limousines, attend balls, inherit fortunes and get state burials, madness
cannot but creep in.
