Nigeria: Ministers Of Noise

 By Ugoji Egbujo

The noise has started. Rather than embrace sobriety, they have begun with talkativeness. Unfortunately, the public is no longer so impressionable. The economic situation is dire and deft footwork of political chancery cannot bring succour. Politicians who had eight years at the state level to reduce poverty but chose sensationalism are now proselytising like development missionaries from distant lands.

The man in Abuja started with threats. He plans to bulldoze houses. Firm town planning regulation is necessary but those who begin by mouthing regulation and breathing fire often end up as crude and cold extortionists. These guys are not new. A loquacious strong man who is weak on principles is only a loud bully. Nothing useful comes out of arbitrariness except self-serving savagery. Ministers of noise pretending urgency.

The FCT lacks a modern transportation system. The city is littered with dehydrated kabukabus running around like taxis. Soaring fuel prices have made Abuja, the land of a million kabukabus, unlivable for many workers. But any man who governed an oil-rich state and didn’t bother to install any order in public transportation can’t come to Abuja with any ideas. That’s why the FCT minister sounds anachronistic.

The new FCT minister knows how to build small overhead bridges that can be christened flyovers and celebrated with feasts and orchestras. Unfortunately, Abuja can’t be seduced by small things. The sort of monkey-post politics and projects that win politicians oversized accolades in some states can’t faze anybody in Abuja. The new minister should keep his band and vuvuzelas aside and begin to think. This is 2023. Those formulae used by young majors who found themselves as military governors to titillate the public have all expired. The issues are real. Abuja is not susceptible to small-time provincial abracadabra and propaganda.

The Demolition of squatter camps is welcome but the real task is affordable mass housing. The minister should insist that building control and town planning regulatory authorities do their jobs diligently. But his focus must be on big ideas. Abuja needs affordable mass house schemes for low-income earners. Abuja must be reconfigured into a smart city. To attain this status, Abuja needs creativity and innovation rather than the brute force of a restless busybody. Environmental protection. Smart transportation. Efficient shelter. Tourism. It will be difficult for an analogue governor to transform into a digital mayor. But Abuja must start to harness technology for its security.  

The Abyss at Oba

The Onitsha-Owerri road is perhaps the busiest in the southeast. The marriage between the Igbo and commerce is well known, so the road that links major business centres in Igbo land will arguably be one of the busiest in the country. The Onitsha-Owerri road should be of such national strategic importance like Lagos-Ibadan and Kano-Kaduna that it should never be allowed to collapse.

At Oba, a huge erosion crater that can swallow a skyscraper has appeared.

The monstrous gully has eaten half of the road. But nobody seems perturbed. Owerri-bound traffic has been casually diverted to the remaining half of the road. Everybody passes and shakes his head at the bottomless pit. 

Many times every week, the traffic mats up and commuters spend long hours around Oba. Since Umahi represents the region and likes road inspections, he needs to visit in a hurry. When he gets Oba, he should stay far away from that site and use a pair of binoculars to view the chasm because though millions of commoners pass through that stricture every day, a minister shouldn’t take such a risk.  

Indeed, if the country observed safety standards that road ought to have been closed. But closing that road would be subjecting millions of people to torture. Yet the real tragedy is that the federal and state governments appear to be waiting for a calamity to happen. If the hole swallows twenty buses and a hundred souls, then somebody might be moved to dig a mass grave and then start work on the road. 

The hole at Oba is hellish. But it is the story of the land. When that gully cuts the road in two, the cost of fixing it might triple. The cost will be borne by the government but some politicians and their contractor friends will benefit. When a road contract sheds the toga of routine repair job for the apron of a big emergency, katakata will ensue. Chaos and frenzy create ample room for contract inflation and embezzlement.  

The hole looks diabolical. Something precipitate is the offing. The governor of the state, Soludo the Solution must have seen it and reminded the federal government officials of their ownership of the road. He has no immediate solution for it. Because at the current exchange rate and cost of cement, that road might swallow a significant portion of the state’s revenues. And the federal government, busy with planning how to distribute cash to cushion the withdrawal of petrol subsidy, is also burdened with fashioning out democracy for the Niger Republic rather than fighting erosion in Oba.

*Egujor is a commentator on public issues