By Tony Ogunlowo
Hardly a day goes by when there isn’t a news report about a minor
being sexually abused by a much older person. And the shocking thing is that
for every case reported dozens are not because the young victims are either too
scared of their attackers or embarrassed to talk to anyone. And it’s so bad now
that it’s rising to epidemic levels and soon Nigeria
will be overtaking Cambodia
and the Far East as the paedophile hotspot of
the world!
Currently
the law stipulates life imprisonment for rape of a minor under the new Sexual
Offences Bill but the law doesn’t deal with those who marry under-age girls to
circumvent the law. Whilst it is a horrendous crime to rape anyone it’s even
worse when the victim is a child and the perpetrator can get away with it by
either marrying their victim or shutting them up. Most paedophiles get away
with their crimes because they are much older and can intimidate or brainwash
their victims. And most of the time the perpetrators of these crimes are people
known to the victims as fathers, brothers, neighbours, uncles, in-laws etc.
Disturbingly,
families are prepared to put up a wall of silence and pretend as if nothing is
going wrong if there is a case of incest or paedophilia going on in their
household. They all keep quiet, hoping it blow over, in an attempt to preserve
their dignity often threatening the victim to remain quiet and not dealing with
the perpertrator.
Some
tribes even encourage paedophilia by marrying off their under-age daughters to
men old enough to be their grandfathers. And over the years no government
policy or law has been put in place to outlaw this practice until recently and
it’s still not enforced. Our society needs to shape up; it’s not okay for a
50-year old to be seen walking down the road with his new under-age wife. It
doesn’t matter if he’s the richest man in Nigeria , an Oba or Emir. It’s
morally wrong and the person belongs in jail! And for those who disagree or
hide behind the flimsy excuse of ‘it’s our tradition’, how would you feel if
your under-age son or daughter was being sexually abused by a 50-year old? Some
men even think it’s ‘cool’ to sleep with an under-age child. It’s not and
anybody who sleeps with an under-aged child, whether it’s consensual or not, is
a paedophile. On a sadder note thirty-five Nigerian Senators actually voted,
recently, for the legalization of child marriage! And the Senators in question
all happen to be from the North and Muslims! Somebody ought to tell them we
live in the 21st century now and such barbaric acts are not tolerable despite
what the Koran says about marriage.
There
are those who would like to argue that paedophilia is a disease. It’s not! It’s
just a lame excuse given by depraved men to explain away their sick sexual
cravings. How else would a certain Northern Senator explain spending $10,000 to
‘buy’ a 13-year old ‘bride’ from Egypt ?
Our
first duty should be to the children at risk. Everybody knows who these
children at risk are and who they’re at risk from. Instead of minding our own
business and turning a blind eye, ignoring the plight of the victim we should
stand up to these people and report them to the authorities.
There
should be more awareness so people can know what signs to look for if they
believe a child is being groomed or abused, for example that ‘nice’ uncle who
is always ‘touching’ his young niece and buying her presents is a potential
suspect. Parents should learn how to be closer to their children; if you’re too
distant to your child there will be things they won’t tell you, like most kids
hold things back, and it’s your duty as a parent to sense when things are
amiss.
Children,
just like anybody else, need a shoulder to cry upon and somebody they can talk
about anything with. Be that parent they can come to.
Any
rape victim, child or adult, doesn’t just carry the physical scars of their
attack, which can include contacting a venereal disease or HIV, but emotional
scars which are even harder to heal. They can suffer from post-traumatic stress
for the rest of their lives. Overwhelmed by it can lead to depression and many
have been driven to take their own lives.
We
all know the Nigerian Police Force is not equipped to deal with child-rape
cases (- or any case really!) and will probably tell the victim’s parents to
sort it out themselves, calling it a family or personal matter. This is not
good enough but the good news is that we live in the internet age and there are
lots of avenues – social media – to shame them into taking action.
There
are some organisations out there such as The Eight Foundation, Mirabel Centre
and Women against Child Defilement who are not just helping victims of
paedophiles but also offer advice and support. Unfortunately they are
under-funded (- or not funded at all!) and there’s not enough of them.
Everybody
needs to be vigilant. Child rape or paedophilia is not acceptable not just in
this country but anywhere in the world.
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