Let’s All Defect, Now!

 By Adekunle Adekoya

Earlier this week, Tuesday precisely, Governor Peter Ndubuisi Mbah of Enugu State, elected on the platform of the Peoples Democratic Party, PDP, ditched his party, and with his entire political machinery, defected to the ruling All Progressives Congress, APC. He was not the first, and will not be the last.

*Mbah and Tinubu

His colleagues of the PDP that had defected to the APC much earlier include Governors Umo Eno of Akwa Ibom State and Sheriff Oborevwori of Delta State. With the way things have turned out in Rivers State, we should expect another defection from there anytime soon.

In Bayelsa State, Governor Douye Diri did a cliffhanger; he and the state’s elected lawmakers resigned from the PDP and while not announcing a defection destination, he has left everybody wondering what he’ll do next. Former Ekiti State governor, Ayodele Fayose has also said that at least three more governors of the PDP will quit soon.

I’ve no problem with the defecting politicians, afterall they’re free to exercise their freedom of association without let or hindrance at any time.

The call to defect, coming from me, is not without foundation. I believe strongly in the wisdom of our people, coded in many proverbs and anecdotal expressions. One of such is: Ti aiye ba nyi, e je ki a maa ba yi. Freely translated, it means let’s flow with the times. If defections are the order of the day, why are we hesitating? Let us all join the groovy train and head for the APC.

We all know what life and living in Nigeria was like before the APC happened on us, in 2015. Since then, we have also all seen the difference, the same way a woman marrying a second husband would have seen the difference.

But let’s get serious about this. There must be something in the APC that the rest of us don’t know a damn thing about, while the folks already there have been cruel by selectively inveigling defectors. That must stop. Let us all go there and see for ourselves what is making APC tick, and then get tickled ourselves. 

When we all defect, we will all be in the same party. Then things that used to be very difficult start getting easier. In the party, we will all be one family. As you know, in a family, Daddy decides who gets what, and pays for every one of us to get it. We simply decide who will be governor, deputy, senator, House of Reps member, House of Assembly member, Speaker, and everything else will fall in place. 

All the money and hassles of primaries, eliminated. In a family, when one gets dealt a short hand, say, by Daddy, there is room for appeal. We simply go to Mummy who lovingly pleads our case with Daddy and wrongs are righted. Better, faster, and cheaper than election tribunals and appeal courts, with meddlesome judicial officers interposing their interests along the way.

If we are all in the same party as noted above, there will be no need for expensive elections, preceded by doubly expensive campaigns. In fact, if INEC defects, the job will be made a lot easier. In addition, if the Police also fully defects, supported by the Army, Navy, and Air Force, we will not be experiencing all the hassles we go through every election cycle. 

There is a compelling reason for INEC to defect; in future election disputes, if any at all, there will be no need to deny existence of a server that was bought with our money and then used for what they want. There will also be no need for iREV, Form EC-8A, and all those useless electoral contraptions that have failed to give us an acceptable election outcome.

Since all of us are in the same party, there will be no need for thugs since there will be no political opponents anymore. As a result, there will be no ballot box snatching and all other shenanigans that attend our elections. In the process and its aftermath, we would have shown the rest of the world one or two things about politicking and getting people into public office.

The late French Premier, Georges Clemenceau (1841-1929) is famous for the statement: War is too important to be left to the generals.” Clemenceau argued that civilians must have control over military matters because war is fundamentally a political act.

To this extent, I borrow from Clemenceau to state that defection, right now in Nigeria, is too important to be left to the politicians alone. And by nature, man is a political animal. This is mainly because, as I stated earlier, we simply don’t know the allure of APC, which has made it the choice political destination. If we must not be left in the cold, let us all defect and join the APC, and surely, we’ll find out and see for ourselves what is making the party tick. The Yoruba have a saying: Irohin ko to afojuba. It simply means an account of an event is not as worthy as witnessing it first hand. Similarly, fellow compatriots up North say: Ganni ya fiji. It still means the same thing. We must find out for ourselves.

In fact, I am calling on ASUU, NUPENG, PENGASSAN, NUBIFIE, ASSBIFI and in fact, all other unions to hop on the defection train. Don’t forget that some unions are already there, even if they didn’t publicly declare their defection. It is an open secret that the transport unions and the eternally factionalised union of students have been known to work for the powers that be. And the icing on the cake? We simply continue to sample the varieties that life and living have to offer. If people regularly defect from one pepper soup joint to another, why not? Let’s all defect joo!!

*Adekoya is a commentator on public issues